Write 2 the Heart

                         Write 2 the Heart
                       Stories that are aimed
                         "Write 2 the Heart"
                           March 29, 2005
                       Cheryl Speir, Editor
                   moderator @ write2theheart.com


     Welcome to your latest issue of "Write 2 the Heart." All new
subscribers will receive a free downloadable copy of the e-
cookbook, "Write 2 the Heart of the Chocolate Lover."

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     We just know how things are supposed to be and when they
don’t work out that way, we have a tendency to feel that we have
missed God’s will. Only after things have settled down and we see
the good that came out of the situation do we remember:  ‘And we
know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28’


                           Just The Mamaw
                         Shirley Anne Cox


     For years I longed to be a grandmother. My desire was to be
able to keep them here safe at home, because their mothers had to
work. God granted me the ability to keep watch over Daniel until
he was two years old and over Jacob until he was one year old. No
one has ever been so blessed.

     We would sing their favorite songs the special Mamaw way.
Daniel's was 'Jesus Loves Me.' We added all the names of the
people they loved and was sure Jesus loved also. Daniel would
start getting drowsy as his little arm came up around his neck and
his 'sleepy elbow' would stick out in front of his chin as he
clutched his dog, Mutzart. Jacob's favorite song was 'Amazing
Grace.' That belonged to his mother, Kim, and him, but he let me
sing it as he drifted off to sleep sucking on his thumb with his
forefinger curled over his freckled nose. They both loved 'Old
MacDonald' which could run on as long as half an hour as we
thought of the sounds on his farm. When we sang 'The Wheels On
The Bus', Mamaw always forgot where the bus was going, much to
the boys delight. The bus would always end up in a nearby city
with the boys protesting that it was all the way to town.

     I would not exchange those years for anything on this earth
even although the physical requirements were causing my health to
worsen day by day. I was living in constant pain from several
chronic ailments. The doctors informed me that I was reinjuring
myself each time I picked up one of the babies, those precious
babies that I wanted to hold and love on all day long.

     What do you do? How can you just quit something you love?
How can you let everyone down? What would happen to the
babies? How could I survive without them here every day? What
earthly use would I be to anyone in this condition? I felt like a
complete and utter failure.

     Thank the Lord that I did not have to make the decision. The
doctors made it for me. If I continued on the way I was, I would
end up in the hospital or worse. My husband, J. W., and I talked
about the best time for me to quit. Around Jacob's first birthday, I
told my daughters that I just was physically unable to keep them on
a daily basis any more. It was one of the hardest things I had ever
had to do.

     Two years ago Elizabeth enrolled Daniel in Tri-Cities Christian
School. I have watched him develop from a shy, quite child into an
outgoing, thoughtful, and confident leader. He went into the school
crying and staying off to himself. One of the other older children
came over to him and made him feel better. Now when another
younger child comes into daycare and is crying, Daniel is the one
who unhesitatingly and thoughtfully offers to show him the ropes.

     I spent Grandparent's Day with Daniel. We had our picture
made together, the first picture I have voluntarily made in thirty
years, and I actually like it. He was so proud that his Mamaw was
there, that he introduced me to everyone that he saw. As we stood
in the lunch line, he looked up at me and said matter-of-factly,
"Mamaw, did you know there is one God, just one, and only one
God?"

     As I smiled I said, "Yes, Daniel, that's right.”

     "And, Mamaw, did you know that He is three in one? He is God
the Fodder, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.” Out of the
mouths of babes comes such wisdom. God placed him here for a
reason. I have not lost my place in his life, I have gained another.
As I see him grow it is easier to see my part in his new life. He still
needs me, just in a different way.

     Two years ago Kim entered Jacob into a Christian daycare,
which will remain nameless. He had to be potty trained to get into
the daycare where Daniel is. We would go to pick up Jacob and he
was clearly not taken care of properly. My nightmare had been
realized. He could not stay there and I was in worse condition than
ever. I felt completely useless.

     Kim talked with my sister, Linda, and her daughter, Ellen, who
is being home schooled. Ellen is a teenager who is much older than
her years and loves babies. Ellen is taking care of Jacob with
Linda's help. As it turns out Jacob is the type of child who has so
much energy that it takes several people to keep up with him.
When he first went there Pa Bill was still alive. Jacob kept Pa Bill
active until he went to be with the Lord in 2004. Jacob was
supposed to be there. His Great-Uncle 'Shred' (Fred), keeps him on
his toes and he loves his great-cousin Cliff.

     Linda has started home schooling Jacob this past year. He has
learned so much. She teaches him Bible every day and does
Christian crafts with him. At the same time he is learning to cook,
to plant potatoes, to harvest the garden, to can, to work with wood,
and to work on vehicles. Whatever the family is doing he is right
there in the middle of it all.

     Last week as the family was processing a deer to be frozen,
three year old Jacob and his cousin, four-year-old Daniel, were in
the hall with their trucks when Cliff just happened to be passing by
unnoticed by the two who were talking as they played. This is the
conversation he overheard:

     Jacob asked Daniel, "Are you going to heaven?"

     Daniel immediately said, "Yes."

     Jacob asked, "Why?"

     Daniel answered, "Because that is where God is. Are you going
to heaven?"

     Jacob said, "Yes."

     Daniel inquired, "How do you know?"

     Jacob said, "Because I am saved"

     To think that these two toddlers where having this conversation
as naturally as breathing assures me that God does know what is
best for us all. They may be too young to fully know what they
were talking about now, but God is allowing the seeds to be
planted and watered. He will give the increase.

     I cannot be everything to my children and grandchildren. I
cannot give them all the good things I want them to have. When I
came to the end of myself I found that God could provide better
than I ever could for all of us.

     Now I am content to just be me here in this ever-changing place
that God has planted me. I cannot do it all. God did not expect that
of me. I did. I am just the Mamaw who doesn't go off to work
every day. I am just the Mamaw who has limitations. I am just the
Mamaw who is there when Daniel is sick. I am just the Mamaw
when the girls need someone to watch the babies overnight. I am
not super-grandmother. I am just the Mamaw of Daniel and Jacob.

     We have just found out that Emily Elizabeth Rhymer, Emmie,
will make her appearance in May. This is our third grandchild and
Daniel's baby sister. The desire to keep watch over this baby is as
strong as it was with the first two. Only God can give me the
strength to do so. He can and has brought forth strength out of
weakness. Whatever he works is best for this Mamaw and her
grandbabies. After all, I am just the Mamaw.

Shirley Anne Cox
Scox2 @ chartertn.net

     Shirley Anne Cox is a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt,
cousin, friend, teacher, and now writer. God has planted her in the
midst of these dear people for a reason. Please pray that anything
attempted will end in glory for God and a testimony that will lead
others to Jesus Christ, our one and only Saviour.
 
    

     You are encouraged to write to the authors to let them know
what you think of their story. Have a comment on today's story?
Send it to: moderator @ write2theheart.com.


    
                     Military Prayer Reminder
    
     As you read over this list of names, please take a moment to
pray for these young people and their families:
 
Tim Speir                     
Alan                              
Todd Holland
Graham
William
Julie Sagel
Jessie
Marshal Thompson
Jason
Eric Hernandez
Kristin Danielson
Ryan
Larry Miele
Daniel
Amy
John
Joanne
Gary Boardwine
Josh
Hadassah
Chanz Wackerly
Robert Henderson
David Habighurst
Tonia
Melissa Bair
Matthew Nutter
Nick Nation
Seth Jarrell
Chris Speir

     Please continue to pray for our country, our leaders, and
our troops at this time. If you have loved ones in the military,
or who are being called to go overseas, send their names
(first and last or first only) to be included in our prayer
reminder.

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