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Write 2 The Heart
April 5, 2005
Welcome to your latest issue of Write 2 the Heart.
Take a moment to browse our new bookstore at:
http://www.write2theheart.com/html/book_store.html
You will find wonderful books written, or include stories by many
of our talented writers. You will also find books that aide the
budding writer. I highly recommend “Sally Stuart’s Christian
Writers’ Guide,” and “2005 Writer’s Market.” Both are must haves
for all serious writers. They are great tools to find that perfect
market for your writing.
What do you do when you hear the words: I have to go to Iraq?
Many are hearing those words and experiencing a wide gamut of
emotions. Chris walks us through hers and then shows what God
revealed to her.
Not Thy Will, But Mine
By: Chris Williamson
“I’ve been reassigned. It means a year in Iraq.”
The words that I’d been dreading poured out of my husband’s
mouth. Not only a separation, but a war zone deployment, my
worst fear.
“You can’t go. I won’t allow it.”
“Honey,” he said, “you know this is what I signed up for. I want
to go. I want to make a difference.”
I’d always been a trooper about deployments in the past, proud
of his dedication and service, unheeding of the sacrifices the
military lifestyle has demanded of our family, but this time I was
terrified. Terrified for my husband, what he might experience,
might see, or be forced to do. Terrified for myself, overwhelmed
by the fear that this time I might lose him. I might say goodbye and
not ever get to say hello again.
So I did what any red blooded American woman does in that
situation. I got angry. I got so mad at him I couldn’t speak. I
wouldn’t meet his eyes. I couldn’t stand to be in the same room
with him. I wanted to beat him with my fists if necessary until he
saw sense.
How dare he want to go somewhere so dangerous? Was he
insane? Didn’t he know how horrible it was over there?
I threw those questions at him and he responded lovingly,
admitting that yes, it scared him, too, but going over and helping
was the right thing to do. It could mean the difference between one
person living or dying, maybe more. Surely I understood that?
The problem was I did understand. I even agreed. But I was so
scared for him, for us, that I couldn’t accept him going.
I saw the evening news, and then later overheard a radio news
announcement about the casualties in Iraq. I just glared at him.
“See?”’ I said. “It’s not a nice place. You can’t go there. It’s
too
dangerous.” He just shook his head and looked at me with love and
compassion. He knew what I was going through. There just wasn’t
anything more he could do for me. I had to come to grips with this
myself.
I was so frozen with anger and fear that I couldn’t even pray. I
agonized for twelve hours after my husband told me about the
deployment before I could do more than fume and fuss. I went into
my quiet place anyway, finally, determined to persuade God to let
my husband stay home.
Sometimes when I pray it’s like sitting in a serene pool,
calming and peaceful. Other times, especially when I was upset
about something I couldn’t do anything about, I’d feel as though I
were shouting into an empty void. Only my faith allowed me to
believe that it wasn’t empty. God was there.
This time it was a conversation like none I’d ever experienced
before. I ranted and raved, going on and on about how it wasn’t
fair, sending my sweet gentle husband into such a situation. He
couldn’t go, and that was that. God had to fix this.
“Not thy will…”
No! I argued with God. Not his will. Not this time. I couldn’t,
wouldn’t face that kind of fear. He had to do something.
“Why do you fear?”
I poured out all my fears for him, listing all the things that
could
happen.
“Yes, but why do you fear? He’s safe with me. Have faith in
him. Have faith in me.”
But, what if something happens over there?
“He’s always with me.”
I don’t want to live my life without him.
“Not thy will, but Mine.”
I don’t know if I can do that.
“You can. I’ll help. Just hold on to me.”
And there it was, the peace I’d been looking for. I knew that I
couldn’t let my husband go to Iraq, but I could give us both into
God’s keeping, trusting Him to help us both when we needed it. I
knew I’d be doing some pretty heavy leaning on Him, but I knew
that He wouldn’t let us down. He’d hold us up, no matter what
happened.
I went out and hugged my husband tight, determined to do the
best I could with whatever time God granted us. When it comes
time to tell my husband goodbye, God will help me find the
courage I need to say, “Go with God.” And I’ll mean it.
“He’s in Your hands, Lord. He always has been. Not my will,
but Thine.”
Chris Williamson
armyfolk @ turbonet.com
Chris Williamson, aka Mrs. Mouse, is the author of two
children’s books, “I Can Grow!” and “If You’re Gonna Be A
Monster…you gotta do it right!” She has a cookbook, “Mrs.
Mouse’s Menu Cookbook,” due to be released in June, 2005.
When not writing or cooking, she enjoys gardening, knitting for
All Crafts for Charity, and being a foster mommy for the
Gloucester-Mathews Humane Society’s Puppy Rescue Program.
Visit her family friendly website for more information about her
books and free recipes. “It’s a ‘Mice’ place to visit!”
http://www.MrsMouseHouse.com
You are encouraged to write to the authors to let them know
what you think of their story. Have a comment on today's story?
Send it to: moderator @ write2theheart.com
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Military Prayer Reminder
As you read over this list of names, please take a moment to
pray for these young people and their families:
Tim Speir
Alan
Todd Holland
Graham
William
Julie Sagel
Jessie
Marshal Thompson
Jason
Eric Hernandez
Kristin Danielson
Ryan
Larry Miele
Daniel
Amy
John
Joanne
Gary Boardwine
Hadassah
Chanz Wackerly
Robert Henderson
David Habighurst
Tonia
Melissa Bair
Matthew Nutter
Nick Nation
Seth Jarrell
Matt Hall
Donald Wayne West
Chris Speir
Please continue to pray for our country, our leaders, and
our troops at this time. If you have loved ones in the military,
or who are being called to go overseas, send their names
(first and last, or first only) to be included in our prayer
reminder.
Cheryl’s Corner
When David and I go out to eat, we automatically reach out and
hold each other’s hand while we pray God’s blessing on our meal.
While David was praying, I heard a lady at the next table tell
her companion, “There’s something you don’t see every day.”
I could hear her companion turning and twisting in her seat and
asking. “What, where?”
“Over there is a couple praying. You know I don’t think I have
ever seen anyone praying in public before.”
What a sad commentary. I really hope it’s only because she
hasn’t been observant until now.
God bless,
Cheryl
Copyright © 2005, Write 2 the Heart
Nothing may be reproduced or published without
the written permission of the individual author or
copyright owner. All rights belong to the authors.
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